paperweight.wav
Victor's parents discuss whether the mysterious object on their kitchen table is a piece of fine
art or a paperweight.
from_the_dead.wav
I guess we can't punish Victor for bringing Sparky back from the dead.
story.wav
I love that story.
meant_to.wav
I meant to do that.
large_marge.wav
Large Marge sent me.
big_but.wav
-I know you're right, but...
-But what? Everyone I know has a big but. Come on, Simone, let's talk about your big but.
corn.wav
Yes, there are thousands and thousands of uses for corn, all of which I will tell you about right now!
basement.wav
Guess what? The Alamo was built without a basement.
phone.wav
I'M TRYING TO USE THE PHONE!
ready.wav
Doesn't it LOOK like I'm ready? I am ALWAYS ready! I have BEEN ready since first call! I AM READY! ROLL.
paging.wav
Paging Mr. Herman...
insane.wav
I will live with you in this hell hole, but I must express myself. If you don't let me gut out this house and make it my own, I will go insane and I WILL TAKE YOU WITH ME!
dark_room.wav
My whole life is a dark room. One...big...dark...room.
strange.wav
Live people ignore the strange and unusual. I myself am...strange and unusual.
qualified.wav
Betelgeuse lists his qualifications.
house.wav
Don't mind her. She's still upset because somebody dropped a house on her sister.
interior_design.wav
I know just as much about the supernatural as I do about interior design.
(Yes, I'm quite aware of the fact that all of these quotes can only be attributed to The Joker. What do you want? He had all the best lines.)
number1.wav
Remember...you...are my number one...guy!
glad.wav
I'm glad you're dead.
devil.wav
Tell me something, my friend. You ever dance with the devil in the pale moonlight?
voice.wav
He was a thief...and a terrorist. On the other hand, he had a tremendous singing voice.
toys.wav
Where does he get those wonderful toys?
belfry.wav
It can be truly said that I have a bat in my belfry.
sheep.wav
-It's not heaven he's from - it's straight from the stinking flames of hell. The power of Satan is in him, I can feel it. Can't you...have you poor sheep strayed so far from the path?
-We're not sheep.
snip.wav
The housewives discuss Edward.
shish_kebobs.wav
I thought these were shish kebobs.
crepe.wav
There was an old man from the cape
Who made himself garments of crepe
When asked, "Will they tear?"
He replied, "Here and there
but they keep such a beautiful shape!"
cookies.wav
You can't buy the necessities of life with cookies.
productive.wav
Edward describes his day.
(Despite listing this as a Burton film, I'd like to extend a curtsy to the insanely talented Henry Selick, who directed this remarkable film yet rarely gets credit for it.)
ooze.wav
Oh Jack...you made wounds ooze and flesh crawl!
blood_drained.wav
Our first award goes to the vampires for most blood drained in a single evening.
bone_daddy.wav
Nice work, Bone Daddy.
nightshade.wav
-That's twice this month you've slipped deadly nightshade into my tea and run off.
-Three times.
-You're MINE, you know! I MADE you with my own hands!
elected_official.wav
Jack, please, I'm only an elected official here - I can't make decisions by myself!
curiosity.wav
-Curiosity killed the cat, you know.
-I know.
christmastime.wav
It's Christmas time! Heeheeheeheeheehee!
(Originally I wasn't going to record WAVs from any of the songs, but Danny Elfman's laughter at the end of
this track is so bloody cute that I had to include it.)
good_will.wav
-Haven't you heard of peace on earth and good will toward men?
-NO!
ragdoll.wav
What's that you said about luck, ragdoll?
sleigh_ride.wav
-I'm afraid I've made a terrible mess of your holiday.
-Bumpy sleigh ride, JACK?
clothing.wav
I like to dress in women's clothing.
paratrooped.wav
Confidentially, I even paratrooped wearing a brassiere and panties.
coffin.wav
This is the most uncomfortable coffin I've ever been in!
hungarian.wav
-My gosh, Bela, how do you do that?
-You must be double-jointed. And you must be Hungarian.
transvestites.wav
Hit the bars, work some parties, and get me transvestites! I need transvestites!
worst_film.wav
Really? Worst film you ever saw. Well, my next one will be better.
cocksucker.wav
Let's hear you call Boris Karloff a cocksucker.
sure.wav
-Do you reject Satan and all his evils?
-Sure.
van_buren.wav
-I'm not going to have that thing in my house!
-Sweetie, we may have to. The people expect me to meet with them.
-Well, they're not going to eat off the Van Buren china.
doughnut.wav
Whoa...he made the international sign of the dougnut!
harvest.wav
For dark is the suede...that mows...like a harvest.
congress.wav
They blew up congress! (followed by gleeful laughter)
shut_up.wav
-We have to strike now, sir! Annihilate! Kill! Kill! Kill!
-SHUT UP! Shut up, SHUT UP!
branches.wav
I want the people to know that they still have two out of three branches of the government working for them, and that ain't bad.
Coming soon!
Coming soon!
dwarf.wav
I've got a...I've got a...dwarf. And I'm not afraid to use him!
tragic_tale.wav
-What a story it is! A tragic tale of romance, passion, and of murder most foul...
-This is gonna be good.
boys.wav
Hit it, boys.
soup.wav
There's an eye...in me soup.
hell.wav
-Be gone, ye demons from hell! Back to the void from whence you came! You shall not enter here! Back! BACK!
-Keep it down...we're in a church.
Coming soon!
